Baldism

 BALDISM in Football

The Ugly Truth about the Beautiful game.

"The prejudice faced by bald men in football has gone on for far too long and should have no place in today’s society." Shaun Locks a solicitor and managing director of Compensation Underwriters North Tooting, (a company whose passion to pursue financial justice is matched in equal measure by their disdain of discrimination... and acronym’s), was this week appointed spokesperson for football’s anti-baldism group CUT IT OUT.

‘A large percentage of men are bald’ said Shaun. ‘But with only a few notable exceptions you won’t find bald managers in the Premier League. CUT IT OUT hope to get to the roots of this problem and aim to implement solutions to stop, what would appear to be  institutionalised Baldism within the game of football.’

The facts are quite startling, 40% of men suffer hair loss before the age of 35 and 50% of men in their  50’s suffer the effects of baldness, despite this there are hardly any bald managers in football’s Premier League, a shocking state of affairs in modern Britain. Surely people should be judged on their managerial talent and not the length, colour and lustrousness of their hair.

With the problem showing no signs of receding the Premier Leagues current crop of players, rather tham heroically taking the knee for their bald brothers, are instead being pressurised into taking drastic actions, in an attempt to give themselves the best chance of moving into management, once their playing careers come to an end. Sadly many of today’s footballers, including those at the very top of their profession, are resorting to cosmetic surgery and are now opting for hair transplant procedures, at the first sign of baldness. It would seem baldness has far more stigma and negative connotations attached to it than say something as trivial as skin colour. 

With this in mind the CUT IT OUT campaign have thrown their backing behind calls for the introduction of the Rooney Rule by the Premier League. ‘We are not saying clubs have to give jobs to the bald’ said Locks. ‘But when interviewing for a manager’s position at least one of those candidates should be hairless. We cannot allow this persecution and exclusion based purely on hair loss to continue. Football has a duty to itself and society as a whole to fight against BALDISM and show that this misguided and ignorant form of prejudice has no place in the modern world.’